“I’m sorry.”
“Stop saying sorry.
“Okay…sorry!”
Why We Say Sorry
Apologizing is an important thing in life – to know when you have made a mistake, and when you take ownership of that. While some people find it difficult to apologize, others find it hard to stop apologizing.
I have a friend who says sorry for many things that she cannot help and that she is not responsible for. From others bumping into her to sharing her honest opinion in conversations, or correcting someone who is wrong – she soon recognized that she over apologized – and it was affecting her.
Some say that people who over apologize are inherently compassionate, have anxiety, and may lack faith in their own judgment. Over apologizing can also be linked to those who have experienced emotional abuse. On the other side, studies show that saying “sorry” too much can make others think less of you. Some consider that over apologizing is annoying to others, that it lessens the impact of future apologies, or can even lower one’s own self-esteem.
When to Sorry
Now that we recognize that some of us say sorry more than others and that over apologizing can potentially hurt us or the people around us, here’s 3 steps to stop over apologizing.
- Pause before apologizing. Ask yourself if a “sorry” is actually needed.
- Understand your triggers, list your apology habits.
- Turn apologies into gratitude by reframing a “sorry” into a “thank you.”
There is no clear-cut way to quit over apologizing. For many, this is a habit because we care deeply and mean to be polite and positive. But it can also cause annoyance, low self-esteem, and hurt in relationships. By knowing the right time to say “sorry”, understanding your habits, and turning “sorry” into “thank you”, you can make your apologies more impactful and reframe how others may see you.