In the 1994 black and white film, “Gaslight,” Ingrid Bergman’s character is manipulated by her husband, played by Charles Boyer, inspiring the psychological term “gaslighting.” Bergman’s character and her husband are living in the home in which her aunt was murdered. After telling her and others that she is going mad, he confines her to the home. She begins to hear knocking in the walls and sees the gas lighting dim. By this point, her husband had been telling her that she is forgetful, not acting rationally and is imagining things. His lies and deception are attempts to hide from her his true intentions and to conceal his true identity as her aunt’s murderer.
Gaslighting is slowly brainwashing someone to the point of questioning his or her own sanity. The slow descent into nightmarish self-doubt can leave a victim powerless and dependent on the abuser. Ingrid Bergman’s character is ultimately “saved” by a detective pursuing her aunt’s murderer and exposing the deception. However, gaslighting is not always easy to spot and not everyone has a rescuer waiting in the wings. Also, gaslighting is not exclusive to personal relationships. Gaslighting may be found in many places, including casual relationships, committee meetings and the workplace.
Sarah Cooper’s “Gaslighting for Beginners: How to Use this Revolutionary Psychological Tactic to Your Own Advantage” outlines eight gaslighting techniques to slowly drive your coworkers crazy. You can probably find one or more familiar techniques in this humorous piece. Her fourth point: “When giving instructions, be intentionally vague then blame the person for not understanding.” This seems almost too relatable! Unless you are self-employed, you have probably encountered this sometime in your career. Perhaps her eighth tip is familiar too: “When someone presents a good idea, pretend to be really confused then present it later as your own.” If you haven’t dealt with either of these situations, consider yourself lucky!
According to Psychology Today, there are some non-humorous common gaslighting techniques meant to wear down a victim. Many of them include lies: telling lies and then denying them, telling you or others that you are crazy, telling you everyone else is a liar and/or projecting negative behaviors onto you. Another large component of gaslighting is confusing someone to keep them off-balance. Examples include being very negative toward you, but then occasionally using words of positive reinforcement, acting in a way contrary to his/her words, and manipulating what is most important to you against you.