Anyone who has survived codependency can tell you about the correlation between human interaction, glue and rubber bands. Codependency is a learned behavior, bonding people into unhealthy relationships and stretching the boundaries of emotion management.

Codependency, also called “relationship addiction,” may be found in familial, dating, spousal and work environments. It thrives in dysfunctional families that instead of confronting problems, repress emotions and needs. Difficult emotions are ignored; promoting a culture of anger, distrust, a lack of communication and sometimes abuse.

Ann Brasco, author of “16 Signs You May A Codependent; Are you giving away your own power without realizing it?” begins her list of codependency signs with “You are Human Glue.” We’ve all met this type of person. This person thrills in being the ultimate go-to and thinking that the world would fall apart without his/her dedication to problem-solving. Brasco outlines 15 other codependent signs, but several could fall into the glue category: attracting and retaining narcissists or addicts, sticking to your own methods of solving all your problems (instead of asking for help), and being unwilling to separate yourself from destructive thoughts and emotions.

Many of the behaviors on Brasco’s list of signs give the impression of the human rubber band. The codependent person constantly bends to do whatever it takes to avoid confrontation. This is due to a constant low self-esteem and inability to make independent decisions. This person limits his/her social interactions to be able to take care of others’ issues and to fulfill an almost super-human desire to please. The flexibility shown by a codependent person can stretch almost to the breaking point of completely ignoring his/her own issues because of choosing ownership of others’ issues.

Perhaps some of the most recognizable codependency is seen in families with an ill or addicted member. Attention and energy are focused on the family member who is seemingly in most dire need. Another family member practically puts his/her life on hold to take care of that person. While dedication to being a caretaker is honorable, codependent people can lose themselves in that task; losing a grip on boundaries, a sense of self, self-needs and desires. Allowing an unhealthy caretaking relationship to dominate your life is both easy to do and dangerous. It can start innocently but quickly evolve into an all-consuming life-shift.

Part Two of this series will focus on codependency in the workplace. There are ways to recognize and overcome this pattern of behavior to maintain a healthy work culture, and to say goodbye to the behavioral traps of human glue and rubber bands.